By David Harder on December, 13, 2017

The Most Important Conversation You Will Ever Have

“You create your own universe as you go along.”

Winston Churchill

Much has been made of “New Age” philosophies such as the Law of Attraction and The Secret. Essentially, these are philosophies and processes that are based on the idea that what we think, how we talk to ourselves, determines the world around us, the success or failure of our lives, whether or not we are happy. This basic law is why we use Socratic (question-driven) curriculum to produce the wildly personalized outcomes for our participants. They define what is ideal and next in their lives by answering a carefully orchestrated series of questions. By accessing their own truth, there is staying power behind their new mission, vision, and purpose. Some make the decision to leave a dead-end job and launch their first business. Others make decisions to start new careers. Whatever the new direction, it comes from their own truth. This is why our graduates are so successful. Invariably, the questioning also reveals the self-imposed beliefs and other obstacles that routinely show-up within their inner voice.

I advocate that all of us spend time journaling, writing and answering questions, or using the Law of Attraction, to find and reshape that interior conversation. Also, it is wise to pay particular attention to what we are saying when we get frightened. Because, until we examine our interior conversation, we are usually living someone else’s life. When we ask people questions about every aspect of their relationship towards work, they realize how their belief’s, existing skill sets, support systems and inner communications influence each other. It is rare indeed for the dialogue to be entirely healthy.

Michael Beckwith, a well-known minister, cast member of “The Secret” and regular on Oprah once told me, “The most important conversation you are having is the conversation you are having with yourself. If you want to improve the quality of your life, improve the quality of the conversation.”

I am not a saffron robe-wearing guru floating across the stage to tap a gong. Science is just as valuable to me as metaphysical thought. The metaphysical world’s common war against critical thinking and logic often leads its members into persistent poverty. For example, when we started Inspired Work, Marsha Sinetar had just written a metaphysical view of career development with her book, Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow. In it is the notion that if we create a nice vision and put out good thoughts success will come our way. I believe Andy Warhol’s point is far more honest. He said, “Do what you love, you can always sell it.”

What does science have to say about this topic? We work with Bob Maurer, the Director of Behavioral Science at UCLA Medical School. He conducted an in-depth study of the behaviors successful people have in common. This study was unique in that it didn’t just measure financial success. Study subjects had to be happy and successful with their work, romantic lives, families, careers, finances, as well as their physical and emotional health. In other words, they studied a very narrow segment of our culture. And, that decision was driven by the reality that we learn nothing of value by studying dysfunction. Here is the behavior that lends a scientific view to this story.

“Successful people have an inner voice, that when frightened, automatically reassures us that it is OK to be human, OK to make mistakes, and OK to ask for help.”

In the world that I live in, that is what I want. I don’t need sunlight and rainbows getting in the way of making the world a better place to live and also making a very good living for myself and family. I am also not a guru or a perfect role model. I grew up as an adopted son of a violent and angry physician in a little town. When I stepped into my life’s work, much of his emotional violence came along for the ride. Journaling, writing and answering questions, and reshaping my interior language took a great deal of commitment and time. But, it transformed my life. It opened the door for me to have a great life, a life that would qualify for one of Bob’s studies.

If you want to explore The Law of Attraction, I suggest getting a copy by the same name from the author Michael Losier. If you want to move your work life into an optimistic, positive, spiritual and effective journey, come see us.

Either way, life is short and the words we use determine what becomes of that life.

Brought to you by David Harder, President – Inspired Work, Inc.

If you would like to discuss your workplace or your career with David Harder, schedule fifteen-minutes, Here.